NO CURE FOR ASHLEE

Ashlee Simpson had been rumored to have been working with The Cure's Robert Smith on her new album, which would've given her a lot of credibility...you know, the kind of thing she's been lacking in her career. Which makes her vehement denails of working with him all the more hilarious. Says Ms. Simpson: "That was never true. I was like, 'Oh my God, that is so not true and so embarrassing.'" Her new album drops in December...and she's rumored to be working with the Neptunes on songs with the Neptunes and Timbaland (yawn).

COOKIN' UP A DIVORCE

Rachel Ray's fake marriage is finally falling apart. The OH SO RELIABLE National Enquirer has a big story on how her marriage to John Cusimano is coming to a close and that he will get $500 Million in assets thanks to no prenup--even though he cheated on her! Probably not 100% true, but the beyotch isn't staying married for much longer. She's so icky. She makes Martha Stewart look like a nun.

AMY WINEHOUSE WILL PROBABLY DIE SOON

This bitch has Pete Doherty nervous. Her most recent drug-related buffonery involves fucking up a concert. Reports The Sun: "She staggered up the stage steps looking the worse for wear as she went to collect her gong at the O2 arena. Then she took the microphone and appeared to spit before saying a brief thank-you. She followed that with a shoddy rendition of “Tears Dry On Their Own” – forgetting half the words. During the performance Amy twitched, pulled at her black-and-white dress and gripped the mic stand as she swayed precariously." Yick.

GUY STILL GONE TO PRISON

Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis is STILL in jail. OJ walks, Joe Francis is in jail. Hehe...Anyways, Joe has launched some new website. Have fun with that, Joe.

LADIES, WHO WANTS TO RAP?

VH1 is apparently casting for an interesting reality show...according to this job listing, they're looking for female rappers. That means you, girls...could you be the next Lil Kim? Probably not. If you can rap, email them at rapper@vh1staff.com.

NO ONE'S TALKING ABOUT...

"Gossip Girl." The new CW show failed in the ratings...which has a lot of bloggers happy, because they're pissed some TV show has the word "gossip" in the title. I'm ambivalent on its lack of success...because I didn't watch the show!

BEYONCE IS A MESS, YALL

Her new hairstyle? Yick!
---------

K ladies, I'm cutting outta here...blow me a kiss