1. His voice

I’m one for accents, as I’m sure most women are; I really don’t understand why there’s such an appeal to a different dialect, especially British ones, but I can’t deny it either, so we may as well just accept it as fact. Accents are attractive, that’s the long and short of it. I defy you to put a British man in a room, no matter how unattractive, with a bunch of American women and try to keep them from talking to him. It’s impossible. I went to Universal Studios once with a theater class, there were Scottish guys there—an entire crowd around them as if they were a zoo exhibit, and each girl trying to be sexier than the one beside her to get their attention; it was remarkable.

In any case, Clive Owen’s voice is just as smooth and effortless as you like; deep and with a sort of gravity to it, and, of course, as aforementioned, he has an accent, which, you know; ooh la la. He never really shouts either; there’s just a quality to his tone that demands attention, which, if you’re in your right mind, you should be willing to give with immediacy. Here’s an interview concerning his upcoming movie Shoot ‘Em Up (which is just about as self-explanatory as a film title can get), which I include simply for the purpose of hearing him speak. And also to see him shoot things:

2. His presence

Clive Owen is so nonchalantly cool and casual that it’s almost irritating (except it isn’t, because why would we be here), but at the same time he exudes a very passionate and intense air just as effortlessly. In Sin City, behind his gravely speech and noir stoicism (or detachment at least) there’s a very distinct sort of force and intent (especially when he kisses Rosario Dawson. My oh my). In Gosford Park, every look he gives and movement he makes is very mysterious and weighty, and Lord if there isn’t a very tangible spark between him and Kelly Macdonald’s character. Similarly, his role in Closer is most certainly passion/emotion-injected, although it is admittedly somewhat strange to hear him speaking so overtly sexually with Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman, but at least he looks pretty while he does it. And, lest we forget, his very short but somehow memorable role in The Bourne Identity where he just bleeds badass while also managing to garner sympathy from the audience despite the fact that he’s an assassin. It’s also worthy to note that he is fantastic in Children of Men, but that’s just because he’s a good actor (and it’s also a really good movie).

3. He throttled Madonna…

(I watched the part where he winks/kisses at the driver to the left at least a dozen times. Also when he wiggles his hands in the air and smiles manically. Actually, the entire thing.)

4. …And Beat the Devil

(It doesn’t get much better than Gary Oldman and Clive Owen drag racing for James Brown’s soul.)

5. He’s a family man

In Hollywood it seems the inclination to get married one year and divorced the next with a handful of kids with several different fathers, but there are some actors that manage to keep integrity in the institution and Clive Owen is one of them. He’s been married to his wife for 12 years and counting (knock on wood; I swear if I wrote this and then a week later he announced he was getting divorced I would die of superstitious guilt) and they’ve had two children together who I assume are lovely. Also, get this, quoted from his biography on IMDB: “He subsequently joined the Young Vic Theatre Company and in 1988, the handsome actor, while playing Romeo, fell in love with his Juliet, Sarah-Jane Fenton.” Are you ‘aww’ing? Because I most certainly am.